Have you ever tried to explain something you hold dear to someone, and they just didn’t get it?
We are all biased. We all have a set of preexisting beliefs and values by which we process information and form our opinions.
Anaïs Nin famously stated, “We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are.”
The effect of communication is not what you say but what people hear. And what people hear is mainly filtered through their deep-rooted beliefs—their identity.
When Christianity is perceived as a threat to freedom
The way the Christian brand is being framed and understood today can, in many ways, appear to threaten modern individualists’ way of life. Communicating the Gospel to secular people is sometimes a shock for Christians. What seemed so evident in the Bible group doesn’t pass the law of the street.
Mike Tyson said it best: “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.”
So, how do we overcome these barriers?
In this week’s blog, I discuss different modes of thinking and how Church leaders could vastly benefit from adopting the best parts of a scientific mindset.
Different Modes of Thinking
In his book Think Again, Adam Grant mentions a model of persuasion created by political scientist Philip Tetlock. Throughout his career, Tetlock noticed that people spend much time making judgments and decisions from three distinct “mindsets:” a preacher, a prosecutor, or a politician.
Preacher: when we’re in preacher mode, we’re convinced we’re right. From the salesman to the clergyman, this is the style you use to persuade others to your way of thinking. Preachers “have seen the light” and are on a mission to share with the ordinary folks what’s been revealed. Our ideas are sacred and can’t be argued against, so we’re trying to tell everyone the “Big-T Truth.”
Prosecutor: When we see flaws in other people’s thinking, we go into prosecutor mode. For people who come to the conversation with this mindset, it’s all about proving you’re right by destroying your opponent’s argument through cold logic, piece by piece. It’s about winning.
Politician: when we want to win people over, we focus on winning approval at the expense of all else. The politician mindset is about pandering to your group or “constituency.” You aim to stay in good standing with a particular audience you want support from and then argue for points that help you stay in power. You need to lobby for their buy-in.
Grant suggests we spend more time developing another mindset—namely, the mindset of a scientist:
Scientist: when we accept how little we know, we form hypotheses, run experiments, and rethink our understanding of the world and others based on new knowledge. When you think like a scientist, you favor humility over pride and curiosity over conviction. You look for reasons why you might be wrong, not just why you must be right.
As we covered in the last section, one of the biggest barriers for Christian leaders trying to build trust in a secular culture is the perception of Christians as a bunch of know-it-alls.
Whenever we meet people genuinely wanting to learn, listen, and understand, we open up new opportunities for human connection and push the needle away from that perception.
The Value of a Scientific Mindset for Church Leaders
I know some Christians have a hard time identifying as scientists. After all, modern Western culture has often framed science as opposing faith. And, indeed, some fundamental truths revealed to us—the good news of the Gospel—go beyond science.
The scientific mindset, however, is brilliant for meeting people where they’re at. Our world is built by shared experience, fractured by individual perspectives, said Brian Miller. The scientific mindset makes people feel heard, understood, and valued. Imagine the difference to the current “know-it-all” image if we all acted like scientists.
Because things seem so evident to us, we try to change another person’s mind using data, facts, and reason. Then, the other person either attacks, defends, or withdraws. I understand this reaction; I don’t like being treated like a prospect. None of us do. We know from motivational interviewing principles that you cannot force others to change their minds, but you can help people find their motivation to change their minds. This motivation has to be rooted in them.
The solution is to start listening without passing judgment. Active listening is arguably one of the most critical skills for church leaders today and in the following decades.
What separates expert negotiators from amateur negotiators is the fact that experts have a higher question-to-statement ratio. They ask questions like, “How did you come to that opinion?” And, my personal favorite, “What evidence would you need to change your mind?”
Usually, we try to attack our opponent's weakest argument. Instead, if building trust is the purpose, it’s a better idea to acknowledge and address their best argument.
Can you see the difference it makes in finding common ground?
Try it. I have. And I am amazed by the difference it makes.
See you next week!
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